May 1977: Frosty and Tiny Wedding

5-7-77

Father Retzel returned from Spokane this morning in time to say mass at the chapel at the mission entrance. Father will say mass every Saturday morning at the chapel during May. This is Mary’s special month of devotion, and these masses are in her honor. Father said that he couldn’t stay long after he came over to say hello. He said that he had to go over to talk to Frosty. Father Bichsel arranged for their marriage next Saturday (May 14) and he didn’t know that we have a four-month waiting rule in our diocese before a couple can be married so they can take a special course at the mission about marriage. “It wasn’t Father Bichsel’s fault for arranging the marriage on Saturday, because he didn’t know our rule. But now I have to talk to Frosty (Bazoo and Nucky’s son) about this marriage and try to work something out. I want to take care of this right away.”

5-12-77

Posted on the bulletin board was a printed invitation announcing the high school graduation of Clifford, Clifford and Socksy’s son. “The senior class of the Hays Lodge Pole High School announces its commencement exercises Thursday evening, May 26^th 1977, at 8:00 in the high school gymnasium.”

Also posted on the bulletin board was a xeroxed wedding invitation.

You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of Tiny, daughter of Bertha and Jim Snow to Frosty, son of Bazoo and Nucky. Date: 14^th day of May 1977. Place: St. Paul’s Mission. 4:00. Reception will follow mass.

Frosty and Tiny have been meeting with Father all week. They were supposed to wait four months, but Father Bichsel already arranged the wedding.

5-13-77  

I was talking to Bill in the mission kitchen. He said that he was going to Frosty and Tiny’s wedding on Saturday. He said that Frosty was about 25 years old. He doesn’t have any children and he’s never been married before. Tiny is 35 years old and has five kids. She’s been married before to a Healy, but they are divorced. She’s Jim Snow’s daughter and Bertha’s step-daughter. Her sons are Monty and Junior in the mission school and Dale who is in the 10^th grade at the Hays Lodge Pole school. She has two other kids. She’s an RN. She just graduated and she’s working at the Agency PHS. She and Frosty are living in Bertha’s old house in Hays.

Frosty came up to the trailer and asked Susie if she was Sandy’s wife. Then he asked her if she could play the ‘wedding march’ and if she could be at the wedding tomorrow to play it. Susie said that she would, and he thanked her. She didn’t really know it, and she practiced all Friday evening and Saturday morning to learn it.

5-14-77  

Today at 4:00, Frosty and Tiny were scheduled to be married in the mission church. At 4:00 there wasn’t anyone at the church, but Father, Susie and I, Monte and Dale, Frosty’s boys. Monte and Dale and their younger brothers were ushers and were wearing red and white carnations. Father arranged the various candles and the eucharist for the service. Then just after 4:00, Jimmy and Bud walked in. They put on their robes and received instructions from Father. They were going to serve for the ceremony.

Bill later told me that Bazoo warned Jimmy that if he didn’t stay serious during the service, he was going to take a lariat to him when he got home. Jimmy and Bud are Frosty’s brothers. (Jimmy was in my 5th and 6th grade social studies class. I was not in the least confused as to why Bazoo threatened Jimmy about behaving himself!)

Tiny and Frosty have been living together for a while. They moved into Jim Snow’s house in Hays and Jim and Bertha are moving into a new home along the highway near 3 Buttes.

The first people who came were Matilda and Cecilia, Frosty’s grandmother and aunt. Monte took their arms and led them to their seats. Then I went outside and there were about ten trucks and cars. People were sitting outside waiting until Frosty and Tiny came.

At 4:30 most of the people came into the church. Most of the people sat toward the front. Few sat in the middle rows, and the last few rows were filled. Most of the guests were Frosty’s brothers and sisters and their children. Cecilia, Frank, Hazel. Clarence wasn’t there but Margaret was there. And all their kids. Ida and Bruce weren’t there. Some of Bazoo’s and Jim Snow’s relatives were there. The only one of Bertha’s brothers or sisters who were there was Edith and she brought Venetia.

Matilda was wearing a bouquet of carnations and all Bazoo’s kids were dressed up – Bazoo and Nucky were wearing carnations. Most of the men wore a nice western shirt and the women and girls were in nice pastel dresses. Most of the other guests were wearing regular everyday street clothes – western shirt, and Levi type pants.

At 4:45 everyone was seated and Tiny walked into the back of the church. Don, Betty Jean, Edith, Michelle (Judy’s daughter, Bertha’s granddaughter) turned around and took pictures of Tiny. All the cameras had flashes. Father came into the balcony and said that he was waiting for the photographer – a woman from the Agency. Everyone else was here. He said they would start soon.

At 5:00 Father started the marriage ceremony (one hour late). He nodded up to the balcony for Susie to play the organ. I was up in the balcony with Susie taking pictures.

Frosty stood in front of the altar waiting for Tiny. When she got down next to him the organ music stopped. Tiny facing the altar on the left and Frosty on the right, stood next to each other in front of Father. To the left of Tiny were her maid of honor, Judy (her sister) and her brides’ maids – Evie, Tammy (her sisters). To the right of Frosty was his best man, Andy (his first cousin) and his ushers – Monte and Dale and Junior (Tiny’s sons). Tiny was wearing a formal blue gown. She carried a bouquet, and her maid of honor and brides’ maids wore long pastel dresses. Frosty wore a sport coat and a necktie (bolo) and Andy wore a sport coat and tie. The other ushers wore Levi jackets and sport shirts.

With all the ushers, brides’ maids and bridal party standing before the altar, Father (wearing his vestments) – Jimmy and Bud standing on either side, said a blessing. Then everyone returned to their pews. Tiny to the left and Frosty to the right. Father read from the New Testament and said a regular mass. Then he called the whole bridal party together again the same way. They were standing in front of the altar.

Father stopped the service and looked up to the balcony. He shouted, “Sandy, could you please come down here.” It didn’t immediately dawn on me why he wanted me down there and I was concerned that I had done something wrong. I nervously made my way to the altar; down the steps and up the aisle while everyone watched my every step. So much for inconspicuously taking photographs up in the balcony. Father said that their photographer had not shown up and he asked me if I could please take their wedding photographs for the rest of the service. He asked me to stand behind him, which I did.

And thus began my very amateur stint as a wedding photographer, a whole new bent on the participant part of this participant observation thing. Were Franz Boas or Margaret Mead ever asked to take wedding photographs?

So, there I am taking their wedding photographs. I have no idea what I’m doing with this camera, and I have no flash in a fairly dark church. There are a lot of windows, but we are in the very middle of the room away from the windows and decent light. There are big incandescent bulbs up on the vaulted ceiling. And not to mention the fact that I am performing this feat standing in front of the entire congregation. There were no bounds to the craziness that we dealt with on a regular basis. “Hey, Susie, can you learn the wedding march tonight so that you can play it at our wedding tomorrow?”   

First, he read the vows to Frosty and Tiny. He asked Frosty to repeat the vows first. He spoke so softly, he couldn’t be heard. Then Tiny said the vows. She couldn’t be heard either. Then Father put two rings on a silver tray. Their rings had not yet arrived, so they had someone else’s rings. While the rings were in the tray, Bud handed Father holy water in a ‘sprinkler.’ I’m sure the ‘sprinkler’ had a fancy name that someone at the Vatican with a marketing background came up with. The Jews at St. Paul’s Mission referred to it as a ‘sprinkler.’

(As a totally unrelated aside … but I don’t want to forget it. Sister Bart used to give the kids holy water in a sprinkler for some reason. The reason was likely related to the witchcraft Father Bichsel accused her of practicing. I was on my bus route and a boy who had been given a sprinkler was squirting everyone around him. One of the girls who had been hit with holy water came up to the front of the bus and asked me what she should do – like the Jewish bus driver is going to have a good ritually appropriate response to that question. I suggested to her that she perform a quick genuflection and return to her seat while the bus was moving. Amen and amen).

Father said a prayer, blessing the rings while sprinkling them with holy water. Then he had Frosty put the ring on Tiny’s finger and Tiny put Frosty’s on his. Then Father told them to kiss. They were very embarrassed, and first just held hands, and then they kissed very quickly.

Then Father took two lit candles and handed them to Frosty and Tiny. Then he took a third candle, holding it, and they each lit the third candle with theirs. Then everyone sat down at their pews.

After I walked up to take pictures at Father’s request, Don and Michelle walked up to take pictures also.

Father then prepared to say communion. Father gave communion first to Frosty, Tiny, Andy and Michelle. Then he brought the challis and the servers forward and the congregation came up to take communion. After communion, Father gave a talk and brought out symbolism of unity and the ring and candle ceremony. Also, during the service, Don and his wife, Joan, brought in two bouquets of roses. Father stopped the service and put them on the altar. Before the service, Evie put lilies on the altar.

As the service came to a close, people with cameras rushed to the door. Then Susie played the organ and Frosty and Tiny walked down the aisle. There were a lot of pictures taken.

Following Frosty and Tiny, the rest of the bridal party walked out. Everyone followed. Bud and Jimmy (the servers) held the doors open. Frosty and Tiny stood next to the door on the steps and greeted everyone as they came out of the church. People shook hands and kissed them. Everyone congratulated them. When Susie came out, they thanked her for playing the organ and told her she did a great job. Frosty said, “You never missed a beat.”

After everyone left the church and passed by Frosty and Tiny, everyone stood around the steps and threw rice over Frosty and Tiny.

Then they posed for pictures. Their maid of honor and best man joined them, and then the whole bridal party.

After the pictures were taken, Tiny threw her bouquet. A boy caught it.

Frosty and Tiny had their car parked in front of the church steps. Friends and family had attached a travois to the back of the car (a small compact) – Frank did it and they put luggage and a trunk on the top of the travois and tied it down. Everyone laughed about the travois.

They got into their car and everyone else got into their own cars and trucks. As the married couple drove off, everyone honked their horns. The trucks and cars followed Frosty and Tiny to the Hays Senior Citizens Center.

At the hall, everyone sat around and talked. The hall was decorated with blue and white crepe paper, paper wedding bells and balloons. In the center of the room was a four-layer wedding cake with a bride and groom on the top. There were two rows of tables and chairs that people sat at and talked. There were no lights on, because there had been a thunderstorm and all the electricity was out.

I asked Jenny (Hazel and Chinky’s daughter) who usually arranged and paid for the wedding. She said that it was usually the girl’s family who arranged the wedding. Since Tiny doesn’t have a mother, Nucky did a lot to help arrange the wedding. But it is usually the mother’s family.

After about a half hour, Nucky, her girls, and Bertha brought food into the hall. Andy and Frosty and a bunch of other guys were outside drinking beer. The women arranged the food on the table. Then Frosty and Tiny cut the cake and fed each other a piece of cake. Pictures were taken. Frosty came up to his grandmother (Matilda) and asked her if she wanted to dance with him. He told her she would really have to shake her hips. Matilda was embarrassed and laughed. Frank left and said that he needed to buy a bottle of whiskey for the punch.

Then a line was started and everyone got in line to eat. Frosty and Tiny took their food first, and after that the people took their food buffet style on paper plates and plastic utensils. Joan and Tammy served the punch and Bertha served the cake. The buffet table was filled with food: roast beef, turkey, chicken, ham, potato salad, white bread, potato chips, and fruit salad with dream whip. People ate at the tables and talked.

Frosty and Tiny opened their gifts. After opening the gift, they passed it around. People handed the gifts to each other for everyone to see with the cards and everyone looked to see who gave them the different gifts. Most of the gifts were kitchen utensils, appliances, towels, knife sets, and can openers. Frank was handing me the gifts. He handed me a bottle of vodka that someone had given them. When he handed it to me, he said, “make sure this keeps going around, Sandy.”

The parents of the bride and groom stayed out of the limelight. No pictures were taken of them, and they remained very quiet and in the background through the entire wedding ceremony and reception. There wasn’t any music during the reception. Joan and Tammy passed around a wedding book during the reception and had all the guests sign it.

Susie and I ate with Margaret at the wedding. She said that Clarence was home bathing the kids. “One of us has to stay with the kids, so Clarence decided to stay home while I came.”

5-16-77  

Susie was talking to Nucky at arts and crafts. She said that there was a party at their house after the reception. They danced in the barn.