August 1977 John and Joan Wedding

8-2-77 Ida’s

Letty and Ida had a wedding shower for Joan. There were about thirty people there. They had a lot of food and played some games. Then Joan opened her gifts.

8-10-77 Harlem

Susie and I were in Don’s Pharmacy and we ran into John. Susie asked him if he was getting nervous. He said that he was a little nervous. I don’t think it’s really hit me yet, but I’m sure it will. He’s getting married to Joan on Saturday at the mission. She’s a teacher in Hays and is white. I’m taking my father-in-law fishing this afternoon. I’m taking him to a place near Dodson. There’s also a good place to fish out near Snake Butte. There’s good trout out there. He left and said he would see us on Saturday.

8-13-77 mission

On Friday night at 7:30, Joan came up to the mission with her brides’ maids and some members of her family. They got Father to open the new gym, and to help unload tables and chairs. They brought flowers and crepe paper decorations into the gym. Joan said that John and his family were up at the Agency. They finished at 8:30. At 8:00, Father came up to the trailer and invited us to the rehearsal dinner. We told him to thank her, but we couldn’t make it.

On Saturday morning, Bruce, Ida, Buzzy, Sam, Elliot, Joan and her family and friends came to the mission. It was about noon. They finished decorating the new gym and they put flowers in the church. Letty asked Susie to help with the preparation and serving food at the reception after the wedding ceremony. These people didn’t go to the wedding ceremony. Camie said that it was supposed to be the bride’s family that pays for the wedding, but since they had it here, Bruce and Ida did most of it. Joan’s family helped out by buying some things. Camie said that here, both the bride’s and groom’s families chip in and help.

I asked Father if he gets paid anything for doing the wedding. He said that he has the same policy that he had in Havre. He lets the families decide what they want to do. He has no set fee. They usually give him a small amount.

The people who prepared the food at the gym were Target, Camie, Kathleen, Susie, Elizabeth, and Betty Jean. The food was served at the reception after the wedding services in the church. They had potato salad, macaroni salad, fruit salad, baked beans, stuffing, turkey, ham, fried chicken, rolls, relishes, coleslaw, potato chips, coffee, spiked punch and wedding cake.

Joan is from Kansas City, MO. She is a speech and hearing therapist at the Hays Lodge Pole Schools and also the Harlem schools. She is paid partly through the Easter Seals Society. Her family and most of her friends were also from Kansas City and most of them were at the wedding. There were about 40-50 people from Kansas City and all of them were white.

Joan asked me to take pictures at the wedding, the reception and dance, and so I went over to the church at 2:45. The wedding was scheduled to begin at 3:00. They had a professional photographer, and he was in front of the church with Joan and her brides’ maids and her family. A few of John’s family were also outside. The bridesmaids wore long green summer dresses, the maid of honor had on a matching blue dress, and they all carried a bouquet. Joan wore a long white wedding dress with a long train and also carried a bouquet. The photographer and I both took photographs of them in front of the church.

Just before 3:00, everyone walked into the church. Frank was standing outside. He said that he didn’t get a chance to go to most of these weddings. I’m too busy working. He said that he had work to do for this one also. I’m going to fix their truck. The groom’s truck was parked in front of the church steps. Frank put a sled on the back during the service, like a travois. He did the same thing at Frosty and Tiny’s wedding.

At 3:00 the bride, the bridesmaids and her family and Bruce and Ida stood in the hallway. The ushers, Sam and Elliot, stood in front of them just inside the church. There was a guest register in the hallway on a table with flowers. The last of the guests were walking into the church and each of them stopped and signed the book before they walked in. There were around 75 guests in the church, friends and family. The bride’s family sat on the left and the groom’s family and friends sat on the right, but there was some mixing on both sides of the church. The photographer was on the floor behind the pews through most of the service taking pictures. Only once he went into the balcony to take pictures.

When everyone was seated, Elliot and Sam, the ushers led people to their seats in the church. Two people in the balcony with guitars started singing. They were friends of Joan, both white. She wore a corsage and he wore a boutonniere. They played ‘Evergreen’ and Father and the server, John’s cousin, walked out from behind the altar. Most of the guests were Bruce and Ida’s siblings and cousins, about 30 of their relatives. Father wore red and gold vestments and beaded moccasins. The altar was decorated with flowers and was covered with a star quilt. The pews were decorated with a white ribbon on the end of each one.

John’s best man was Buzzy and two ushers (John’s relatives) walked out from behind the altar on the right, from the servers room with Father. They stood in front of the altar. Then Elliot and Sam led in Joan’s parents and seated them in the pews on the left and then led in Bruce and Ida on the right. The ushers, best man, Bruce and the bride’s father all wore suits, and John wore a new pin striped, blue suit. Elliot wore a leisure suit, and Sam wore a nice pair of pants, shirt and vest. The bride’s mother, Ida and John’s sisters wore long summer dresses. All the guests dressed more informally in their normal daily attire. The men in the wedding party wore carnation boutonnieres. The women wore corsages.

The bridesmaids walked down the aisle and stood to the left of the aisle facing the pews. Then Joan and her father walked down the aisle, and he kissed Joan and sat next to his wife. John walked to her and stood on her right facing Father. The bridesmaids on Joan’s left facing the altar and the best man and ushers were to the right of John facing Father.

Father began the service by saying that the church allowed freedom and John and Joan made a lot of decisions about the service. They picked the readings. Father read from the Song of Songs, My Beloved is Mine and then read the gospel reading. They also wrote their own vows. They faced each other while they read them. They had them memorized. The vows were about faithfulness, love, giving and sharing their lives. Then the ring ceremony took place. The maid of honor put John’s ring in a silver tray that Father held. Buzzy put Joan’s ring in the tray. Father blessed them and sprinkled holy water. They put the rings on each other’s fingers. Then they kissed. Then Father conducted the candle ceremony. Father gave each of them a candle and he held one. They each lit the center candle, symbolizing their union and that they were now ‘one in Christ.’ Then Father prepared for the eucharist, and the two guitarists played an offertory song. John and Joan knelt at the altar during the communion service. Father said that people had a choice of just the bread or the bread and wine. He said that this choice was available on weekdays and at weddings. Everyone who took communion, took both. Then everyone stood and John and Joan moved back to the center aisle opposite their parents. John held Bruce’s hand and Joan held her father’s hand. Everyone in those pews held hands. Father suggested this during the service. He said a blessing over the newly married couple and their families.

Then John and Joan walked back up the aisle while the guitar players played some love songs. The parents followed, then the wedding party. As people left the church everyone shook their hands or kissed them and congratulated them. Everyone stood in front of the steps. Frank had put baggage on top of the travois. There was a sign on top of it, Las Vegas or Bust. Frank was just being funny. They weren’t going to Las Vegas.

As people were going down the steps from the church, Letty passed out rice. I asked her if it was commodity rice and she laughed. As John and Joan walked down the church steps, everyone threw rice. They walked down to their truck where the photographer took pictures of them.

Then the bridal party went back into the church for pictures. The guests went to the gym for the reception. Father asked that photographs not be taken during the wedding so that there would be no distractions. The photographer set up the pictures, and I took them as well.

Then everyone went to the gym for the reception. It was decorated with blue and white crepe paper. The tables were set up in rows on the floor. There were two rows of tables. The tables were covered with white paper cloths and decorated with blue crepe paper. There were about ten tables. Their presents were on another table. There was also a table with the wedding cake that was done professionally and two glasses and a bottle of champagne. The napkins had John and Joans names printed on them.

Another table was covered with food. The bridal party and then guests served themselves buffet style. The people in the kitchen continued to fill the food table. Before we ate, the wedding couple cut the cake and fed each other. The photographer took photographs. They poured champagne and toasted each other.

Father came into the gym with the marriage certificate. He called over John and Joan and Buzzy and the maid of honor as witnesses. Everyone signed it. There were about five family members who were also taking pictures at the ceremony and reception.

John and Joan visited with guests sitting at the tables and then they opened their gifts. They read the cards so everyone could see who gave what. Joan came over to me and asked me to take pictures while she threw her bouquet of flowers to a group of girls. John then did the whole garter belt thing and I also took pictures.

The reception started at about 4:30 and was over by 6:15. The family then helped clean up the gym and move the table and chairs. John and Joan then came over to Susie and me to remind us about the wedding dance tonight at the Agency gym. They said it would start at 7:30. They were going to Vancouver Island for their honeymoon for ten days. John then offered to pay me for taking the pictures. I told John I wasn’t going to accept anything; that I just wanted to do this for them.