March 1977: Life, Death, Vacation, Passover

Wake and Funeral for Mary Gone Talks Different

3-1-77

The wake for Mary was held at Caroline and Bobby’s at the Agency.

Ray, Irma, Bobby, Caroline, Cyndee, and Ruth went to Chinook to the funeral home. Gordon, Edith and Alberta (Camilla’s daughter) and Calvin’s wife stayed at Caroline’s to clean the house and rearrange the furniture so they could make room for the casket. There were two little girls playing with toy rifles in one of the bedrooms. There was a picture of Jesus on the wall. One said, "Let's shoot at G-d." The other responded, "No we better not shoot him because he might not save us." 

The funeral home brought the casket from Chinook at 4:00. Gordon and Bobby left for Havre at 6:00 pm to pick up Davey. Davey was coming in from Galen by bus.

The coffin was set on a table at one wall of the living room. It was covered with flowers. Mary was wearing a blue head scarf, and her face was covered with a silk scarf. There was a crucifix on the coffin. About ten flower arrangements were at the house, around the coffin and on the table.  They had chairs around the room for guests, but this night was for family.

Cyndee put pemmican and tobacco in the coffin with Mary. Bertha put moccasins on Mary’s feet for her to be buried in. Caroline covered the coffin with two blankets. There was another blanket under Mary that had been given to her by Ira. She would be buried with this blanket.

Luke Shortman and his daughter came in. Freddie spoke Gros Ventre to him. His daughter got up and walked around to the family. She sat down and yelled into Luke’s ear. Luke got up and shook Mary Denny’s hand. Caroline started to bring them a plate into the living room, but Freddie stopped her and told her to put them in the kitchen. Then Freddie said to them in Gros Ventre to go to the kitchen and eat. They put their food in a bag to take home. They were serving soup, potted meat, sandwiches, cookies, and chips.

Susie and I went across to Ona Bell’s to eat dinner with Ray, Irma, Lyle, Ruth and Cyndee.

People were dressed casually. They did not necessarily wear dark colors.

Gordon pointed out that the tablecloth had a knot in it. He explained that Catholics do this because of the knots in the tablecloth in Leonardo Da Vinci’s painting of the last supper. I just looked at the painting and, sure enough, there are knots on both ends of the tablecloth.

3-2-77

We drove Ryan and Venetia up to the wake. We couldn't find Dory and Junior. We got there at 6:00 pm. Only about half of the family was there. Irma and Ray came back to Hays to rest and listen to the Harlem basketball game. Edith and Gordon went to Alberta’s to rest (Newtown). Caroline, Ruth, and Linda were making sandwiches. Tennison Doney came in before us and brought tuna and macaroni salad in a bucket. Most people bring something with them to the wake. Either they bring something prepared, or they bring groceries that can be prepared at the house. All this food is

given away and fed to the people who come. Beef soup, bread, fry bread, baloney sandwiches, fried chicken, ham salad, potted meat, potato chips, cookies, potato salad, danish pastry, cake, pies, coffee, tea, Kool-Aid. 

When Venetia got there tonight, she walked over to the coffin and fell apart. She was really crying. Freddie took her down the hallway to comfort her. Bertha and Davey took her around too.

As soon as someone comes into the house they walk around to all of Mary’s children and shake each of their hands. Then they go over to the coffin and pull back the cloth that covers Mary’s face. Some of the people kissed her, family and close friends, Mae Main and Matilda. Some people went to the coffin first and then they went around and shook Bertha’s Caroline’s, Edith’s, Ray’s, Freddie’s, Mary Denny’s, and Davey’s hands. Some people burst into tears and held their children around. Beatrice held Edith and Caroline’s and hugged them. Then they sit down and are brought a plate of food by one of the girls. After eating, the plates are collected by one of the girls. Coffee and cigarettes are passed out all night.

Most of the little children stay in the bedrooms and play, and one of the mothers stays with them in the bedroom. The babies are either held by their mothers or grandmothers or are sleeping on the beds. Mary’s great-grandchild was also there. Most of the family that lived away from the reservation came today. Joyce and her kids, Caroline, Freddie, Edith and Bertha were there.

Bobby came up to the mission today and made the arrangements with Father Retzel to say the rosary and requiem mass.

Elmer brought his mother, Mae. Frank brought Matilda, and Nucky came in. Roseann came and brought groceries. Some people gave money to the family.  

Gordon said that people would stay until 10-12 pm and then it would really thin out. Only family and close friends would stay up all night.

People mostly visit with out-of-town relatives and friends.  

Dion has pneumonia and Edith was staying with him in the bedroom. She later took him to hospital.  

There were about 50-60 people at the wake. Most of the people came for the Rosary. Most people stay for a couple of hours. Father Retzel stood up and said that Bobby asked him to say the Rosary at 7:30 and they were going to proceed. He started the Rosary in the kitchen and then walked into the living room. He sat down next to Davey and Bertha. A seat was found for everyone so that everyone was seated during the Rosary except the people in the kitchen. If people walked in late, they were given a seat. Some of us (Ray, Gordon, Raymond, Elmer Main, Bobby, me) were in the bedrooms. Bobby brought in two benches before the Rosary. As the Rosary began just about everyone brought out their beads and followed along with Father.  

After the Rosary, Father said that he would hear confessions in the bedroom. No one went in. Edith said, "nobody's going to go in there, it’s not in the confessional. They’re funny that way." Susie offered her services, and Caroline asked her to wash the dishes. She apologized that it wasn’t a great job. When we left, Caroline thanked us for being there and helping out and she said she appreciates all we have done.

Freddie directed furniture, people and policed kids. Davey and Bertha took a guest book around for everyone to sign and passed out cards announcing the funeral mass. Linda (Raymond’s wife) kept track of who brought what  to the wake so that they can be thanked. We left at 9:15. The house was still packed. We drove Gordon, Venetia and Dion home.

Freddie, Ray and Caroline were using hand signals – the messages conveyed were: to cover Mary’s face, to pass the coffee, to pass a plate of food, to sit down on a chair.

At Mary’s wake, a couple of women had babies on cradle boards – pouch – quilt blankets sewn on. At Mary’s funeral, one woman had a cradle board. It was wicker, basket overhead.

3-3-77 

The radio announced Mary’s requiem mass at St. Paul’s Mission at 11:00 Thursday and burial in the mission cemetery in Hays – KOJM, Havre, Montana.

Mass started at 11:00. At about 10:50 the hearse pulled in. Lyle was in the car ahead of it. Then the rest of the family from the Agency were driving behind. Everyone that was outside gathered around while they brought the coffin out of the car and into the church. They chose one person from each of Mary’s children’s families to be pallbearers. Dory and Junior were going to be the servers at the funeral. Father Retzel said a prayer in the doorway. He likened the ceremony to a baptism, the original baptism. Everyone waited outside and then went into the church. A few rows were vacant between the family and friends, but people chose to stand rather than fill those pews. Father Raymon from the Crow Reservation and Father Randolf from Pryor were assisting Father Retzel. All the priests were wearing embroidered robes, Indian style. Sisters Maria and Paulene were visiting from Pryor also. They came here because Freddie works on the Crow Reservation and their Mission and Mission school.  

Many people went up to receive the Eucharist. Fathers Raymond and Randolf helped with the service. Gordon and Bobby (using hand drums) sang an honor song for Mary at the request of the family. As they sang, people cried and wailed. Janette Warrior sang along (an octave higher) in some parts. She was behind us. After the singing you could still hear people crying. Then there was a silent prayer.

Father Retzel said a short homily and said that prayer would be resumed at the place of the burial. The pews were emptied one by one from the front to the back. Most people drove to the cemetery. Ray walked; he refused rides from Freddie and Irma. He took a nitroglycerin.

People stood around the grave. Father Retzel finished the prayers. Gordon and Bobby sang again.

The people began crying and wailing. Then they started to sing as she was being buried. People comforted each other as they cried. Most of her children, (Edith, Bobby, Davey) and some others threw a handful of dirt onto her casket. Venetia and Edith were crying and hugging each other.  

As the casket was lowered, all but the family began to leave. Irma offered me a Kleenex. She told me people were going to be drinking coffee at her house at about 2:30 if we wanted to come. Most people left, but the family stayed until she was entirely covered.

After Mary’s funeral there was a feed at Bobby and Caroline’s. It started at 2:30 and most of the family went up to their house. They were going to feed Father Retzel and the other priests that came up from the Crow Reservation. Ray and Irma did not go up for the feed, because they said that they were very tired and so they just stayed home and rested in the afternoon.

We were visiting with Ray and Irma after the funeral. They had company from Browning. Everyone was sitting around the table. We all ate lunch together.

Conversation with Freddie at the Wake

Freddie said he thinks it would be a good idea for priests to marry.

When I listen to them talk about marriage I think, how in the hell do you know. We went to a marriage workshop in Ashland. Before we left, I was finding every excuse not to go, but once we finally got there, I was good. It helped me out a lot. It seemed to be a lot like AA; teaching us the power of the creator and fellowship. One older couple was there. She mentioned a drinking problem and then clammed up, but I recognized some aspects of AA in the way they were talking. I cornered her husband and asked about AA, and he changed the subject very quickly. After the program they asked for some comments or suggestions. I said that before they go to an area they should find out about the culture of the people. Like say if people from Milwaukee or somewhere coming to the reservation, they have different problems. There was a priest there, mostly for the spiritual part of the program. When he started to speak, I had a hard time wanting to listen to him, but from AA I learned to listen because he'll say something that I can benefit from.

Freddie said that he sweats about three times a week in a sweat lodge.

It is really good for me and I feel real good after I’m done sweating. My boy was in there with me last week and he passed out while we were sweating. He didn’t say anything. I guess he wanted to be brave. But after I didn’t hear anything from him, I looked over. We opened up the door and he was revived right away. Father down there sweats with me all the time. He’s trying to be an Indian. I use the stones from Snake Butte that I got there one time. Those rocks work real well. They hold the heat real good and they don’t crack and crumble up. Everyone down there likes these rocks for sweating, and they can be used over.

Ray said that when they built the dam on Fort Peck they blasted a lot of rock from Snake Butte and they used this rock. The tribes were paid for this rock, but no one knows what happened to this money.

Eddy Doney Wake and Funeral

3-7-77  

Father Retzel told us that Eddy Doney died today in Billings. He had cancer and was in the hospital in Billings for quite a while. He lived on the reservation near Jim Stiffarm’s but he was sent to a hospital in Billings when they found out that he had cancer. He is the oldest brother of Richard and Clifford. He is also Camie’s step-father; he married her mother (they were divorced about 5 years ago). So, he was both Camie’s brother-in-law and step-father. When she referred to him though, she always said step-father. As soon as the family found out that he had died, they made arrangements to have his body brought up to the reservation. His wake will be at the mission in the new gym on Wednesday and the funeral will be on Thursday.

3-9-77 

We went to the wake for Eddy Doney. It was held in the new gym at the mission. The body was brought up from Billings to the mission at noon. The funeral home in Chinook was handling the funeral. The wake is today, and the funeral is tomorrow at 11:00. The coffin was against the wall opposite the stands, and it was open. The top half was open, and the face was covered with black silk. Next to the coffin was a guest book and on the other side were flower arrangements that were brought or sent to the family. They were on the floor and on the benches. Food was being prepared in the kitchen and chairs were set up in front of the coffin in rows. People were also sitting in the stands.

They had a feed, and everyone who walked in got a plate with a sandwich and cookies. Socksey and Camie were serving the food and passing around cigarettes and coffee. They also brought around beef soup. All the brothers were sitting on the benches and Morris was there. He lives in Great Falls. Everyone who walked in went over to their bench next to the coffin and shook the family’s hands.

The Rosary was said at 8:00. Most of the people brought their Rosary beads and pulled them out during Father Retzel’s Rosary. A Rosary was blessed by Father, and it was passed around the gym. Everyone held it during one of the prayers. Then Father took it and at the request of the family placed it in Eddy’s hand to be buried with him.

3-10-77

Irma invited us over for dinner. She said that she was really mad about the funeral today for her cousin, Richard’s oldest brother. She asked us if we noticed that there weren't any "Indians" (said sarcastically) at the funeral. All the people there were either Chippewa-French or they were Indians that were members of his family.

It sure made me mad. There's just so much prejudice here. It made me so mad that I couldn't even feel holy during the mass (she laughed). All these people here were his friends. He even spoke Gros Ventre. They should have come to his funeral. There is just too much prejudice against the Chippewa-French. We all come from the Little Shell Band that came from the Riel uprising and came here from Canada. I have also heard the name Metis used to refer to us. My whole family is from the Little Shell Band. All his family and all of the Doney families are Chippewa-French. They are all related by their parents being either brothers or first cousins.

Mayhem

3-2-77  

Jay Willie shot socks (the mission dog). Socks and Gahanab took down one of his calves. Jay Willie shot about 20 dogs last year. If he sees them near the calves, he just shoots. He shot his own dog, a Saint Bernard that was going after the cows. Gordon warned us to keep Gahanab away from Jay Willie because he’d shoot him.

Gahanab was very sweet with Susie and me. But he was wild (by suburban pet standards). I could write a book with just Gahanab stories. The same dog that would sleep in bed with us would also growl at us. He was once skunked, and we took him down to the creek with a large can of tomato juice. As we were washing him off, he really growled at us. Susie and I looked at each other and backed off. From a lifetime of owning dogs, I can say unequivocally that you can’t be afraid of your own dog. It was difficult to raise him in a healthy way out there. There were so many dogs running wild, including at the mission. Bringing him back to Columbus was a disaster. He became very territorial, and he couldn’t be around other dogs. Aaron was born shortly after we returned to Columbus. Aaron was just an infant and was in the house with Gahanab all the time. It was a bit disconcerting. One day, a babysitter for Aaron (Susie was working and I was at OSU teaching) opened the front door of our home at the same time that the mailman was delivering our mail. Gahanab ran out and viciously attacked the mailman. Maybe Gahanab thought the mailman looked like one of Jay Willie’s calves. We felt horrible about the whole incident. The postal service told us that if we didn’t get rid of the dog, they wouldn’t deliver mail to our entire street. We didn’t feel comfortable sending a three-year-old dog with Gahanab’s history to another family. So, we did what we thought was the responsible thing to do. That was almost 50 years ago, and I feel as bad about this whole event as I did when it happened. We loved Gahanab. It totally sucked beyond words. We have such great memories of Gahanab … and we have such difficult memories of Gahanab. He was family … may his memory be a blessing.

Tom Jones:

There are a lot of wild dogs around here. Right about now, calving time, these cattlemen really shoot a lot of dogs. The cattlemen got together once a few years ago when they heard that there were a bunch of wild dogs up across from where you guys used to live. They went up there with a tractor and they ran a hose down into the dens from the exhaust and killed them with carbon monoxide.

3-3-77  

Our CB antenna was stolen off our truck. Charles said that he had the same kind and his was stolen from his car also. They just unscrewed the antenna and walked away with it. He said that Friday night a couple of guys came up to their house and wanted to come in because they were cold. It was 5:00 in the morning and he told them to go away. So, they went into his car and they tried to start a fire in his car by setting a couple of books on fire. He said that he chased them away and put the fire out in time.

3-4-77 

Wilma told us that the daycare was having a dance at the school. “We have a band from Rocky Boy coming. They sing rock and western music.” This party resulted in a monumental cascade of crazy shit among the older teens and young adults on the reservation.

A bunch of guys hotwired a car and took it out. When the owner found it, there was a hole in the windshield, the battery had been pulled out; it was laying on its side with the acid running out. The car was completely vandalized. The owner knew who did it and went down to the police station to file a complaint. A person who knew about the event and the people involved told me, “If the police don’t do anything about murder, they won’t do anything about an old car.”

A dad told me that his son went out drinking on Friday and he didn't come home all weekend. They were up in Harlem with a bunch of guys from the basketball team and from the Harlem team. They had a party all weekend. He didn’t want to come home, and finally I went up there with my wife and we brought him back down.  

Another woman shared the following stories with me from the party on Friday night:

Everyone in the community has been talking about the dance that went on at the gym last Friday night for the day care coop. It was really a wild scene. Kids went into the gym, and they were drunk and drinking. After the dance they found whiskey bottles all over the gym floor. The teachers’ cars were smashed, and all the mirrors were torn off the cars. For some of the kids this was part of a party that lasted all weekend. Some of the kids went up to Harlem and spent the weekend drunk up there. Others were drunk all weekend in Hays.

Another young man started drinking on Friday and he drank all weekend. He was coming in and out of his house all weekend. Then on Monday he disappeared entirely. His wife was getting really worried, and she went out to look for him. At the rest stop near Zurich, she found his bill fold and his rings. She was sure that he was done in. One of the mission volunteers went out to help look for him.

I got a whole thermos of coffee ready, and we were going to go out and look for him tonight. When I went to his house to pick up his wife, he came home. The truck had two flat tires. When one went, he put the spare on. And then the other went and he got another which was about 2" too small for the truck. Wires were hanging out from the truck, and it was really running tough. He was over at his mother’s, and he was really stoned from grass. He was at her house now sleeping.

Another bunch of guys went up to an older man’s home and they hotwired his truck and drove it away. They smashed it up really bad in a bar pit.

A bunch of other guys were up in Harlem. They went to the VFW, and they hotwired a truck up there and drove it down to the dance on Friday at the school. The stolen truck was reported, and the police spotted the truck and went after these guys. When they saw the police, all the boys scattered. One of them was so drunk that he couldn't move, and they grabbed him. They took him up to the jail at the agency.

At the rectory tonight, Tom Doney came in and we were talking. He said that last weekend about 10 guys busted into his house and they had a party in there all weekend. They took the door down right off the hinges. There were beer cans all over the place and they really messed things up.

At 4:00 in the morning, a bunch of high school boys went over to one of the Lodge Pole teacher's homes. They knocked on the door. His wife answered the door. The boys asked for her husband, and she thought that it was important because it was so late, so she went and got him. She went back and opened the door, and she got hit in the middle of the chest with a rock. She was alright but was shaken up. They called the police at 4:15 and they kept calling the police, but they didn't show up until 4:00 in the afternoon the next day. One of the boy’s mothers went over to talk to the teacher’s wife and told them to quit picking on her boys. She said that she had better leave them alone. She said that they had better not prosecute her boys.

I’ve noted in the past that I can only remember one occasion when I didn’t feel safe while living in Hays. As I read through all these experiences, I really don’t understand why I felt safe. We were loved and cared for … but good people who stayed out of trouble were also victims of this crap all the time. It was so unfortunately, just part of life on the reservation. Mayhem in Hays was a thing.

3-8-77

There was a grass fire at Ruby’s house. They were burning trash and some of it blew out and caught the grass on fire. It burned the grass all the way up to the house. The forest crew came and put it out. BJ, Mary and Ben were also helping. Everyone was surprised that the grass burned up so fast in March. There was a SW wind.

3-10-77  

I was talking to one of the volunteers tonight. We were talking about how fast the kids grow up here. He said that two of the teachers in Lodge Pole were dating and one of the second graders came up to the teacher and asked him if he was getting thick with the other teacher. Before he could answer, she said to him, “well, if you are, you better get her over to the vet and have her fixed.”

Today, I heard one of the kids from the high school was pregnant. She is only 15 years old. This is not an unusual occurrence.

3-30-77  

Susie and I were xeroxing at Urban Rural and a little girl came in. She was only about five years old. She helped us by taking the paper out of the machine. She had a scrape on her nose, and I asked her how she got it. She said it was from a cat and then she said, “you know, if you stab someone in the throat, they would die.” Good to know.

While we were on vacation, there was an accident in Lodge Pole. Eight people were crammed into a cab of a pickup. Some of the people were drunk. There were two young kids in the truck. They went off the road into a bar pit. Two adults and one of the kids was killed.

I haven't the slightest idea why I had this photograph from inside of the DY Bar from this roll of film. I did think it appropriate to include the image at the conclusion of this section on mayhem.

Community and Life

3-2-77  

A friend told me that a woman has been going to Rocky Boy every day.

She's been sick, and she's pregnant. She's been going to see the medicine man there, Kenneth Gopher. He has rules that they have to follow before he'll do any doctoring for them. You can't go to a Whiteman doctor, and you have to be honest. This woman wasn't being helped by him, so she's going to a doctor today. My son went to him for his back, and he never did anything for him. He never got better from his doctoring. He has a lodge with four poles that he does his doctoring in. The lodge is in an old cabin. You sit in there with him while he does his doctoring; and any other people who have gone to see him are in the lodge also. I don't believe at all in him. The medicine men did their thing in their day, but those days are over. He said that he used to be an alcoholic. He woke up in a park one day and didn't know how he got there. He became a medicine man. He says you can't drink if he's going to doctor you.

The woman who told this to me has a relative who is very traditional. She doesn't believe in him either. She thinks that he's acting out his own problems with being a medicine man and the rules he has. This is a way for him to deal with his problems. He's the only medicine man around this area.

3-3-77 

Tom Jones:

We made $5,000 trapping this winter. Coyotes, beaver, mink, bobcat. We trapped down on the river (Missouri) and on the reservation. I did most of the trapping with my father-in-law, Tuffy. I have to go back into the hospital for an operation on my arm because the skin is healing to my tendon. I got careless and forgot that I had a bullet in the chamber and it went off while we were riding back in the jeep. I blew a big piece of bone right out of my wrist.

There are a few guys around here who hunt coyotes with dogs. The females are faster, and they take them down. Then the males come up and help them finish the kill.

3-4-77  

Irma told us that if an old person teaches a stitch or pattern or teaches you beading, you should give them something in return. “I gave beads. Matilda does loom stitch without a loom. All her beads were left by her sister who was planning on making a buckskin dress but died before she could.”

We went to Gordon and Edith’s. Some of Gordon’s brothers and sisters were there for Mary’s funeral.  They were playing cards. They still don’t have gas. They were cooking on the wood stove. Gordon traded Glen’s dance outfit to his brother Dale for a 7mm rifle.

Gerald had the job as tribal recreation director for the past few months, but this was only a temporary position. They had to advertise the position before they could hire a permanent person. It was advertised for a few weeks, and it was in the Camp Crier. He received the permanent position last week and is now officially the tribal recreation director.

There is a Bingo tonight at the Senior Citizen Center for the tv club. They're getting money to pay to fix the transmitter and also to pay the electric bill for it. Socksey told us that,

They sent the transmitter to Shelby to get fixed. Last time it was $300 (when it was down in August). The electric bill isn't very much for it, but they are trying to get Montana Power here instead of REA. REA went up last month and it’s getting too expensive. My electric bill was 7 or 8 dollars more this month than last. My security light last year was $3; this year it’s $4/month. REA won’t let them build any more homes down here (southern part of reservation) because the power is being over-used right now. The only way they would run in more power is if they could guarantee to build a certain number of homes and it’s much more than they would ever need.

3-6-77  

Billy White came up to the trailer while Father Retzel was here in the evening. He was out of the army last year and decided this year to go into the marines. He was just home from basic training in Missouri and was going to be stationed in Australia for 2 ½ years. He said that he was with the CBs and would probably be making roads and building all sorts of things there.  

3-9-77   

I was talking to Chinky at his brother’s wake. He said that his boy, Mike, likes to play basketball but he likes to ride broncs and bulls much better.

It’s more of a challenge for him. He started when he was real young. He has to be real sharp and he doesn’t do any drinking when he’s riding. I have a boy, Art, who went to school at Flandreau, and he teaches PE there now. He was a wrestler and a boxer there.

I boxed a little when I was in the army and stationed in Japan. Then once I got hit so hard in the ring that I vomited. That was it for me. You have to have a little violence in you to be a good fighter. You have to want to hurt the guy to do well at it. I don't think that John likes to fight. I don’t think that he has this violence. At the fight here he dropped down to help the guy after he hit him. I don't think he likes to do it. I think he has to force himself. Buzzy likes it. (Buzzy and John are his nephews).

I'm on the community school board for both Urban Rural and Title IV. We want to start a PTA here and we’re going to have a meeting about it next week. The public school is really in bad shape. The administration just doesn’t do anything about it. Those kids are running the school, and the administration won’t back the teachers. I walked in there once and there was a kid standing on the teacher's desk. When I went to school that desk was a sacred spot and you didn’t go near it. These kids take things out of the desk. They should have a truant officer who gets these kids into school and if they won't go, kick them out entirely and tell them that they have to go elsewhere to school. We have to clean up this mess. They don't have discipline like the mission school has. There's good discipline at the mission school. It’s the fault of the administration. The superintendent sure has a good thing going over at the school. He goes to meetings all over the place and he's never at the school.

Chinky said that he really used to like the Latin mass. He said that he would go miles to hear a Latin mass. (I would hear this a lot from people in the community

The mission has both a breakfast and lunch program at the school. The program is subsidized by the government, but the cost is not completely covered. The mission has to pay about half of what it costs to feed the kids for lunch and breakfast.

Sister Kathleen runs the breakfast program, and she gets here from Lodge Pole at 7:30 am to start cooking. The kids get orange juice and milk every morning. Then she alternates packages of cold cereal, eggs which are from the mission, pancakes, and hot cereal.

The lunch program is run by Beatrice and Mary. They use a lot of ground meat, potatoes and rice. They also make stew and pizza. There are homemade rolls or buns every day. The kids get a main dish, a fruit or cake and cookies for dessert, a vegetable and some chips. They make the meals and clean the kitchen. They prepare these meals with so much love and care. They do an amazing job.

Father Simoneau oversees the entire food program at the mission, ordering food and budgeting, but the program really runs itself.

3-10-77 

Tom Doney and Tom Jones came up to the mission tonight and wanted to know if Mike wanted to go out hunting with them. They were going spotlighting. Mike went but he didn’t take his rifle. Both of them had tracers and they were going to try to shoot a deer with one of those.

On Fridays during lent, Father Retzel is saying a service with the stations of the cross. It is at 7:30. Mike is saying the stations in Lodge Pole since Father Simoneau is in the hospital in Havre with pneumonia. This week there is a novena – a nine-day prayer for St. Francis Xavier. Between 15-30 people have attended these services.

Mike said that he got a call from a woman who is a friend from home. She called and asked him to get information on getting her son enrolled in the Assiniboine tribe here on the reservation. Her son is going to start college, and she wants to enroll him so that he can get the benefits of college money. She is a full blood Assiniboine and was raised on the reservation. She went into the army and married a white man. She now lives in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. (I’m thinking this happens a lot with families who live off the reservation. Some of the benefits, for instance for education and health care, are substantial).

Mike said that he took three of the 7th and 8th grade boys on a ride up to the mines today and he asked them about the public school. He said that they told him that the teachers were better here at the mission school and that they were learning more here. They also said that the discipline was better here. He said that they were all serious. All three boys had spent at least two years at the public school.

Irma said that she used to be the cook in the mission school before it burned down in 1973. She worked under two of the sisters. One of the sisters, Sister Mel, was Sioux. She died a few years ago. The other sister was Sister Germaine. Her name used to be Sister Felix, but she changed her name about the same time they changed their habits.

Irma said that Camie was planning a feed for her son that was killed last summer. The feed was going to be in April at the mission, but since the death of her step-father (brother-in-law), she decided to postpone it for a little while. “She told me this today, because I told her that I wanted to give her a couple of blankets to help her out with the feed and give away.”

Beatrice

3-3-77

Mary’s (Gone-Talks Different) mother was married to Beatrice’s grandmother’s husband. “She was my mother’s step-aunt. We called her ‘auntie.’ I called her most of the time, grandma, because I called Ira grandpa.”

3-4-77  

Beatrice: “Once there was a dance up at the Agency. Someone asked for an Owl Dance. Everyone was in a circle doing the dance and this old lady and her man were in the middle getting fancy.”

Getting fancy! I really loved Beatrice’s expressions. She was so funny and had such a wonderful sense of humor. Susie and I really loved Mary and Beatrice. They were a joy to work with and just to be around.

Beatrice: “I hated to see Mary that way. I didn’t want to see anyone in a sad way. But I was so close to her. When she was in the hospital, Caroline asked me to come see her and maybe she would perk up. I went in. I talked to her in Indian, but she didn’t respond. I asked her how she was feeling in Indian, but she just looked at me.

3-7-77  

Beatrice told Susie the following words in Gros Ventre:

at kina ha ban: I’ll see you again.

nee wa: grandma

bay see wa: grandpa

don hey ee: sometime

at kina ha ban don hey ee: I’ll see you again sometime.

Susie asked her how you say ‘father,’ and she told her that it depended. She said that if you were talking to him, you would say it one way, and if you were talking about him to someone else, you would say it another way. She said that she sometimes hates to talk Gros Ventre because she’s afraid that she’s making mistakes.

I would be willing to teach Gros Ventre but I’m not sure that it’s all right. There’s a difference between the way me and Jim talk. Jim has a drawl when he talks. I don’t know why I would be teaching it to other people. I tried to teach it to my own children and all they did was laugh.

Mary said that we weren’t laughing at the language, we were only laughing at the way the words sounded. “She heard us laugh at it and she just got up and walked away.”

“I have an Indian name.” She told it to Susie in Gros Ventre. She said that the name meant Warrior Woman. Her grandmother gave her the name, but she doesn’t know why she was named that. She said that she doesn’t like the name her grandmother gave her.

3-11-77 

I was sitting in the kitchen eating and BJ walked in the door. When he came in, Beatrice got up from the table and she walked out of the room. She walked into the maintenance room. I went in there and said to her, “who gave you permission to leave the kitchen.” She laughed. And then she said that she had to walk out because her son-in-law walked in. Later I asked her if she still felt that way about her son-in-laws? She said that she did, and that it was her way of showing respect for him. She said that he talks to her every once in a while.

The traditional Gros Ventre practiced mother-in-law – son-in-law avoidance.

3-6-77 Pancake breakfast and pinochle party

There was a pancake breakfast and pinochle party at the mission for the Catholic Indian Congress. Ray and Irma organized the affair, but Joyce did most of the running around because of Mary’s wake and funeral. Ray, Irma, Itty, Ruth, Mike, Susie and I made the breakfast - pancakes, eggs, sausage, coffee and milk. They got people from the community to donate all the food for the breakfast, and the concessions at the card party. The prizes for the pinochle party were also donated. There were about 30 people at the breakfast. The pinochle tournament started at 1:30 and ended at 6:30. There

were prizes for high score, travelling pinochle and a booby prize for the low score.

Susie, Ray and Irma are preparing for the pinochle games.

These are photographs of the crew making the breakfast.

Vacation: Columbus, Florida, Cleveland

Susie and I went on a two week vacation. The plan was to fly into Columbus to spend time with Susie’s family. Then we were going to drive up to Cleveland to be with my family. I had been on the reservation for eight months without a break.

Susie’s dad and I drove a very large Suburban and trailer down to Florida. It was the first time in eight months that I had an opportunity to rest and to think about all of what had transpired since our arrival in Montana. That all happened about fifty years ago, so I have no idea what was going on in my brain. What I can surmise from looking at the photographs I took was that I must have been in a catatonic state. I sat on the beach and repeatedly hit the shutter looking at the same scene. It was a role of Kodachrome film with 36 shots. More than half of them looked just like this:

And this ....

Five birds did me a favor and decided to fly into the frame as I hit the shutter. This is actually a nice photograph.

When the sun came up, I was intrigued by these trees. The brain awakens.

Our lives over the past eight months were pretty insane. It was non-stop. From looking through my fieldnotes, we sure weren’t getting much sleep. Between my work and our visiting with people, I must have been drinking twenty cups of coffee a day and chain smoking. When we would go to visit people, we were always offered coffee. Many people made “cowboy coffee.” You put the grounds into a pot of boiling water. After a while, you let the grounds sink to the bottom of the pot. You just have to hope you’re not getting the last cup from the pot. And so many people smoked. It was days filled with coffee and cigarettes.

Sometimes the kids called me ‘helter skelter.’ It was an apt characterization, and I thought, pretty clever. We were everywhere, all at once, doing everything. We had so many jobs at the mission, besides the teaching, and I was also teaching college courses at Urban Rural. Every waking hour that we were not working was devoted to my fieldwork research. Doing observations and interviews, writing fieldnotes, and then typing them and organizing. When I could, I was also doing as much background reading as possible. I do remember being up very late at night working on my fieldnotes. Susie was also engaged in all of these activities, as well, including writing fieldnotes. It was a grueling schedule. If you have been reading my blogs, you have a sense of just how much we were cramming into every single day. It was insane. And for those two weeks on vacation, my body and my mind must have experienced something akin to an altered state of consciousness.

While we were in Florida, Susie’s parents took us to Disneyworld. It was the one and only time I went to Disneyworld. As we were driving to the park, Susie’s parents asked me why I didn’t bring my camera. I have no idea what I said in response. I do remember that they looked at me like I had just dropped the Torah. What I do remember was that I was in dire need of not taking any photographs to document our activities, nor writing down anything to record my observations. I desperately needed to be brain dead. As I noted in my first blog, I had been so seriously primed to do this research. I spent seven years in school preparing for this experience. While on the reservation doing my work, I was like a man possessed. I didn’t do any reflecting. I never questioned my state of mind or my well-being. I just pushed forward every day. And I absolutely loved what I was doing. I wasn’t being driven by the end game – a completed piece of important research and an academic career. I was being driven by the experience we were having every single day. It was exhilarating. I don’t think I had another time in my life where I was experiencing something entirely unique every single day, and learning so many new things. In some regards, it was pretty overwhelming. But while being in the midst of the experience, it sure wasn’t feeling that way.

What I learned from this two week ‘vacation’ was that the sense of being overwhelmed only occurred when I was away from it; when I had a moment to think and to reflect.

After being on the reservation for those eight months, spending the day at Disneyworld was filled with discordance; it was surreal. The contrast between the fantasy world created by Disney and the poverty (and all the social problems that accompany severe economic hardship) on the reservation really hit me like an emotional ton of bricks. Poor people can't afford Disney. Poor people can't afford to pay for parking at Disney. It was a blatant manifestation of the disparities between the haves and the have nots in our society.

Our times away from the reservation were infrequent, but when they occurred, I experienced similar thoughts and feelings. I would experience such a profound sense of conflict from the way of life on the reservation and life away from this community. What magnified culture shock for me were some of the economic and cultural extremes we experienced through these 'vacations' during those two years. I will identify these in my blogs, because I have photographs from some of these occasions. The most profound of these episodes came when we left the reservation at the end of our work in May/June 1978. I experienced culture shock when we came home. I’m not sure I’ve recovered.

When we returned from Florida, Susie and I drove up to Cleveland to spend time with my family.

This is the home I grew up in. We moved here when I was four years old, and my parents lived in this house while my brother, sister and myself were in college. I shared a bedroom with my brother. It was a great home. It was a great neighborhood. Someday, I'll write a blog about it. I had a wonderful childhood.

I don’t have memories from that trip. I barely remember what I did yesterday. What I do vividly remember was that we had a Passover Sedar at my Aunt Sally’s and my Zadie led the service. Zadie always led the Passover service. He had been very sick, and my mother and aunt were concerned that he would be able to do it. My Zadie (grandfather in Yiddish) was orthodox and his Sedar was a three-to-four-hour proposition. It was a miracle that he led us through the entire service.

The next two photographs of my parents were taken before we left for the Sedar. My father died in 2013. May his memory be a blessing. We will celebrate my mother's 100th birthday in June.

I was very close with my Zadie. He lived a remarkable life. His life was filled with amazing experiences and with so much tragedy. My family came from a small village outside of Kiev in what is now Ukraine. The village was Tetieve. My family were peasants. Tetieve was a peasant village. My Zadie's oldest brother was a cobbler, and his father made a living by hauling water in a wagon up from a nearby river. It was primarily a Jewish village and their language was Yiddish. Jews were not permitted to attend the Russian schools. My Zadie was conscripted into the Czar's army. Most of the Jewish boys who were forced into the army never came home. The Russians have been fighting the same wars in the same ways for centuries. Think about the war today in Ukraine. The Jewish boys were cannon fodder. My Zadie was fortunate. A senior officer took a liking to him and kept him safe throughout his service. Miraculously, he returned home.

Consistent with all Jewish history, the Jews of Tetieve, and throughout Russia became the focus of their neighbor's hatred. They weren't allowed to own land so they sure as hell didn't own any banks or the media. They were hated because they were Jews. My grandparent's lives looked a lot like Fiddler on the Roof without all the great music. It was during the Bolshevik Revolution when the Czar and his family were killed. Most of the Jews in Tetieve were either killed or they fled for their lives. I lost some of my family during the pogroms. My Zadie and Bubby (grandmother) were able to escape. That is another long, complicated, and ugly story. They were so courageous; they went through so much. My Zadie learned Russian during his service, but neither my Zadie or Bubby knew any English. They had no education or trade. They showed up in Ellis Island and then made their way to Cleveland, where other family and friends from Tetieve had already settled.

Neither of my grandparents ever learned to drive a car. My grandmother never really learned English. She died when I was ten years old. My grandfather became a tailor. He lived through so many different worlds ... coming from a peasant village, serving in the Russian army, fleeing the virulent Jew hatred in Russia/Ukraine, and coming to America.

To get some idea of how my Zadie made sense of the world, he called everything that had a motor in it a 'machine.' From a car to a lawn mower, to a rocket ship. He did live through astronauts landing on the moon.

When Susie and I were in Montana, we wrote to him regularly and my parents shared all our stories with him. I have no idea how he made sense of Susie and I living on an Indian reservation. To my Zadie, Montana could have been like living on Mars. An Indian reservation was not in his repertoire. And going to live and work at a Catholic Mission! I haven't the slightest idea as to what my Zadie was doing with that part of our lives. He came from a world where Christians were not to be trusted because they were raping, pillaging, and killing us every ten minutes. And now his grandson and his wife were living among and working with these people?

Our easiest explanation was that this was a part of my going to college and getting an education. He sure knew about the importance of our getting an education. He would always say to me, 'it is good to know how to work with your hands, but it is much better to work with your head.'

My grandfather shared his stories with me during our time together ... and we saw each other often as he lived with my aunt around the corner. I guess it was the anthropologist in me that appreciated his stories. He lived an amazing life. Through his life experiences, he had every rational reason to be filled with bitterness and hatred.

He was a deeply religious and spiritual person. Judaism was the center of his existence. He was a kind and gentle soul. He had a great sense of humor, he smiled easily, and he never had an unkind word to say about anyone. He gave us such exceptional values. He was so smart ... he was so wise.

I was blessed to have my Zadie into my twenties, so I was old enough to appreciate my time with him and what I was learning from him.

To be able to celebrate this Passover with him was an incredibly important experience in my life. My Zadie was in his 90s and he had cancer. What medicine was doing with cancer in the 1970s was not much. Shortly after this Sedar, we returned to Columbus and then we flew back out to Montana. My Zadie died in May. May his memory be a blessing.

And we returned to a reminder that it was March in Hays, Montana. The worst snowstorms came in the spring when it was warmer, and the snow was wet and really piled up.

It would amaze me that Gahanab would lie out in the snow. We made a place for him to lie down in the porch area that was covered. He probably didn't want to miss any of the action going on around the mission.

3-30-77  Passover

On Friday, Father Retzel arranged for us to have a Passover Sedar. Susie and I xeroxed a Haggadah at Urban Rural and made dinner. I have no memory of it but can’t even imagine what we made for the Passover dinner. There is a great deal of symbolism to the foods that are eaten on Passover. We would have had access to none of it on the reservation, i.e., matzah ball soup, gefilte fish …. or within at least 180 miles of the reservation.

All of the nuns, Father Bill Bichsel and Father Retzel, and all the volunteers were there. Our mission served as a retreat for many of the Jesuit priests who served in the northwest. Father Bichsel was one of my favorites. He spent more than a month with us at the mission. He was an advocate in the Seattle area. He was a character, and we thoroughly enjoyed our conversations with him. Jan La Valley had also come in for the Sedar from Joplin. Everyone participated in the service and read responses from the Haggadah. It was a wonderful opportunity for Susie and me to share our religion and culture with our mission community.

Both Fathers said it was good, because they felt that since their religion was based on Judaism, this Sedar helped them better understand the eucharist and last supper.

Sister Bartholemew used the opportunity after the Sedar to let me know that the messiah had already arrived. In those days I had the ability to exercise some modicum of self-control that I now lack. I don't remember what I responded to her, but I'm certain it was tactful and respectful. I am equally certain that today my response would be far more insightful and interesting.

Given the Passover Sedar we had just held with my Zadie and my family in Cleveland, our Sedar at St. Paul’s Mission was both a wonderful experience and straight out of the twilight zone.

Back to helter skelter.

I took this shot of the full moon rise hand-held, which is pretty amazing.

Mission Ridge at Sunset

These next two images are looking west from the mission at sunset while storm clouds are roiling over one of the ridges of the Little Rockies. The skies in Big Sky Country put on a show almost every day. If I had a digital camera in those days (1970s), I would have come home with 300,000 images instead of the 3,500 I returned with. I also would have taken so many more portraits. I've become way more assertive in my old age.